Handling wife’s money
Looking at the situation
Finances or lack thereof can be a major source of contention in a marriage. The majority of arguments in the average marriage can be attributed to finances. Unfortunately, life is very expensive and when there are several members in that family the expenses increases. In some cases, the husband has a reasonable income and when the family is budgeting responsibly most of the expenses of the family can be covered. There are also the more fortunate families where the husband is earning a very large salary and therefore the wife is not required to work. However, in the majority of cases, the income which is earned by the husband is not nearly enough to cover the family’s expenses. In such cases, the wife has no other option but to find employment in order to contribute to the financial situation of the family. This is where many problems can often emerge. Unless there is complete transparency regarding the finances of both the wife and the husband, a situation may soon develop with there is incessant arguments about money. In that case the wife should not be burdened with too many household chores or given the freedom to employ someone.
How accountable should the wife be?
In other words, would it be reasonable for the husband to regularly query the wife regarding their income? Will it be fair to ask three or four times a week what she is doing with her income? Should she be required to answer endless questions about how much she is shopping and also how much she is spending on herself? Seeing that the wife is now a salary earning member of the household should she be expected to also pay her share when dining out? When it comes to that property mortgage could she be expected to pay her share seeing that she and your mutual children is also benefiting from that property? All of these and many others are some of the questions for which a husband might have to find answers. There will need to be extensive discussions regarding the finances of the family. Everyone should know exactly when they are standing and also what their particular responsibilities are.
How readily is money available?
When the family is really struggling financially and survival is high on the agenda then a husband can probably be excused for showing a substantial amount of interest in the finances of the wife. A lot will also depend on the trustworthiness of the marriage partners. If both of them are dealing responsibly with their income then obviously frequent queries and needless arguments will not be necessary. The problems often start when one or more of the partners begin to act irresponsibly by spending more than that which is healthy under the circumstances. This can lead to a whole lot of unnecessary problems which might take time and careful budgeting to have that situation resolved. This is why trust is one of the vital cornerstones of any marriage relationship.
Plan and budget together
After all, when you are in a marriage relationship you are partners together engaged in an endeavor to create a wonderful future for your family. Seeing that both the man and the wife brings in money, they both should have the right to make decisions about how that money is spent. Naturally, all of this will change if the husband is a good earner and has money enough to support the family and to give them the kind of lifestyle which they aspire.
Through good times and bad
Marriage is a lifetime commitment to each other and also to the family. This is why when the wife’s salary is required to keep the family going then she should contribute to monthly household expenses. She simply can treat her salary as pocket money if the family is doing well. In order for the family to have everything which they need the wife should willingly contribute to major purchases such as the buying of a house. This is a critical necessity in order to ensure that the family has a place where the children will be safe and where they can grow up in a protected environment. There will always be special circumstances, such as the parents of the wife which might be sick and they might require financial assistance. It would be inhumane to expect the wife to turn a blind eye while her parents are in financial turmoil. Therefore when the situation requires it the husband will have to accept that his wife really has no other choice but to do what she can for her parents but once again this will also apply to the parents of the husband.
I am often reminded of that scripture that says, the man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh and therefore what God has put together let no man separate. And yet so often we allow relatively simple things to come between a man and a woman. I think that once one has accepted the fact that marriage is for real and that it is a lifetime commitment which should never be lightly terminated and that you have made a promise before witnesses to stand by each other even when the going gets very tough and you have that firm foundation in your heart and your mind, then whatever may follow is really only secondary stuff, they do not compare to the unity between the men and wife, those things are simply not important, only the marriage relationships matters.